#i don’t think i can boop from sideblogs but if you get a boop from they-bite that’s me hehe

[cybertronplannedparenthood]

me when i fucking BOOP you

[kiradical]

Beep boop this is my personal main blog. This blog is full of nonsense and ramblings. Mostly reblogs.

Here you’ll find:

•Politics (acab, blm, eat the rich, etc. if you scroll for a bit I’m sure you can figure out what my personal political beliefs are)

•Stuff about poverty (usually this is my own personal ramblings about my situation but I do also share resources and such when I can)

•History (general (but mostly stuff relating to historical figures and eras I like), art, fashion)

•Occasional religious stuff (either me talking about it or sharing others posts)

•Wrestling (mostly wwe, and mostly Rhea Ripley)

•Cross stitch (and fiber arts in general)

•Art

•lots of random reblogs that are anything from aesthetic to just silly posts I found. This blog is and always has been a fucking mess and I ain’t gonna fix it now

I don’t usually post adult things here (I have a side blog for that) but sometimes it makes it’s way over here and so for that reason this blog is 18+

If you see me interacting with your horny blog or whatever but not reblogging, it’s probably going on my sideblog (I also queue and save to drafts sometimes too).

My tags are mostly for my own use to find things later, but tags that might be useful to you if you want specific things are: #personal, #me, #historical fashion, #cross stitch, #fiber art, #art, #art history, #history, #witchcraft.

The "mine" tag is safe to reblog. It's literally just my silly little thoughts or something not terribly personal to me that I think folks might relate to. But unless you're a mutual responding to my post, please don't reblog posts tagged as "personal."

If we are mutuals feel free to message me anytime, otherwise ask box is open (sometimes anon is on sometimes off), but don’t be rude or weird cuz I’ll just block it and delete it and you’ll never get to see a response. I like talking to people and making new friends.

I live in extreme poverty currently and am struggling to even get groceries. If you are feeling inclined to help me it is much appreciated. My cashapp is $kiradical (message me for anything else). Thank you. Every single dollar helps keep me and my cats fed. 💚

[luxeavenger]

hi evie! i hope that life is treating you well and that you’re having a great November, I have a few questions about blog organization in general, do you think maybe you have the time/energy to help me out? (If not it’s totally okay)

I’m trying to make a masterlist and organize my blog better, do you have any tips on how to do that?

so far I’m going through all of my posts and tagging them in a more organized way (gonna be very time consuming, do you know if there’s a better way of doing that?)

after that I was gonna try and make a masterlist with all those tags, plus a few others, as well as maybe a separate masterlist and/or sideblog for my poems. i think the most confusing thing for me is links and adding those, do you have any advice or tips about that?

I’m kinda going with the guess and check method here because I have basically zero clue how tumblr works, I was just hoping maybe you could help me out 😭

(again if you don’t have the time/energy thats totally okay, and if not, I’m sending you lots of love and wishing you a great holiday season 🫶🏼)

hey sweetie! i hope you're feeling well! i'm sending tons of love right back your way!

i don't know if i'll be a HUGE help with this, but i'll give it a shot. maybe something will help?

as far as tagging posts go, there are only 2 things that i try to be consistent with my # tags: my fics, and (to a point) my inbox

fics:

i find i do much better if things are the same every time. which is why i organize my tags the way i do (my neurodivergent ass can't handle that kind of chaos)

i try to do - PAIRING x reader (if more than one character), CHARACTER x reader, CHARACTER, CHARACTER smut, OTHER CHARACTER x reader, OTHER CHARACTER, OTHER CHARACTER smut, etc

i use three different "reader" tags, and do a set for each of these: "x reader", "x you", and "x female!reader"

on the word doc i have my @ taglist on, i have a list of all the # tags I use most commonly, so i don't have to pull them out of the ether every single time i post a fic. i have a list of backstage pass tags, then a list of stucky only tags, and bucky only, steve only, etc

i believe tumblr maxes you out at around 30 tags (although that may have changed), so use ALL of those. tag characters, tag parings, tag reader, tag reader gender, tag fic theme. anything you can thinks of - TAG IT. it helps you show up in the tag search, which helps readers find your fics. don't obsess over checking that your work shows up under each tag though. tumblr is famous for screwing the pooch with the tag searches (my kinktober fics from this year have done universally poorly because not a single tag i used during the entire month of october showed up in the tag search)

inbox:

i have an inbox tag, so if i ever need to go back and find something i can

i'll tag things with series as well

people that inbox frequently get their own special tag because i love them the mostest, and it's the closest thing i can do to giving them hot chocolate and boops through the internet

i have seen some BEAUTIFUL masterlists here. i highly recommend cruising through and looking at masterlists. it will help you get an idea of what you think looks nice, and what you think might work for you. i did mine the easiest way possible when i set it up, because it seemed confusing with separate masterlists for separate characters, but i'm getting closer and closer to the point where i'm going to HAVE to do separate masterlists, because tumblr only allows 100 links in a post, and both my main and backstage pass masterlists are getting up there. just find what works for you, but expect to have to modify it as your masterlist grows

I'm not 100% sure what you mean about "links and adding those"? adding links is super easy. just type out the text you want to use to lead people to your linked content. (ex: "backstage pass masterlist", or "here there be kittens", or "bat huggers anonymous", or "zaphod beeblebrox"). then copy your link, highlight the text, find the little chain symbol in the pop-up menu, click it, paste your link, click done, and you've made a link!

if you're one of those people who changes their username frequently, once you go through all the work of creating your beautiful masterlist, you are going to want to give very very thoughtful consideration to changing your username. because if you do, you've gotta go through and change every single one of those links. ones in your masterlist, ones in your bio, basically if it links to any of YOUR tumblr content, you'll have to change it. otherwise, they'll just lead... nowhere. so just... yanno, be aware of that

and a cautionary tale when it comes to tumblr. they do not give a single fuck about you, or your links, or your content, or your carefully curated posts. i've seen writers devastated when tumblr just unceremoniously deletes all their fics. if you don't already have an archive of our own account, i recommend getting one. it will help you find new readers, which is great, but it will also serve as an archive of your fics, should something catastrophic happen to your blog. it'll make things MUCH easier to repost everything again. you have to be invited in order to join, but it's super easy to request an invite, and it doesn't take very long to get the invite once it's requested

this is probably way more than you wanted, so i apologize if you've been sitting here reading all this, just wishing i'd shut up like 3 minutes ago

i hope something here was helpful. ily babe! take care of yourself, especially with the holidays coming up

[silverfox419]

hello there, i’m con (or any variation of that name/my username)! i'm 20, and i go by mirror pronouns! plus beep/boop if ur feeling silly

i’m basically a mcyt blog, specifically dsmp, but you might see me reblogging things from other fandoms every once in a while. sideblogs are for cowards (/j)

i don’t have that much of a sorting system but here are some common tags i use:

#con says - og posts that i make. sorta uncommon compared to the massive amounts of reblogs i have

#con’s art  #con’s edit  #con’s theory #con’s oc etc. - different genres of posts i make

#answered ask - when i answer the once in a blue moon asks i get. 

#1000  #2000  #3000 (...) #8000 - my more popular posts. you can look through them if you want

#i think i’m funny - when i try to make a funny post

#long post - blacklist this if you want to be able to quickly scroll past lengthy posts

my trigger warning tags are a little inconsistent, please ask if you want anything tagged!

and although i wouldn’t normally do this, DNI if you support cc!dream or cc!wilbur. thanks.

[jadegrey711]

Only for You

Dark Lord x Fem!Reader

A/N: Hello everybody I got a wonderful request from an ANON for another Dark Lord x Reader pairing that I was more than happy to do! I’ve got another Dark Lord x Reader pairing i’m working on along with Part 3 of my first Dark Lord x Reader pairing which I’ve now dubbed as An Unwilling Queen! Hope you enjoy Anon! 

*NOT my GIF*

Word Count: 3k + (Sorry it’s really freaking long!)

If you like my stories you can check out my sideblog @jadegreywriting​​ to see all of them and my masterlist without filtering through my main blog.

Prompt: OMG I love your writing. I think you’re so talented. I was wondering if you could take a request. I was hoping for a oneshot or two of a Lucifer (Sabrina) x soul mate reader who is shy, also a v powerful witch and friend of Sabrina. I like the idea of the Dark Lord being only weak for her. I was hoping for a oneshot of him meeting and finding out who she is to him, him falling in love and ending in smut.

*He’s also portrayed here in his angelic (hot) form, not the monster form. 

Warnings: Smut at the end, kind of an underage reader, she’s eighteen but he’s like a billion years old so there’s that lol. Also kind of angsty. 

I own all rights to this story and do not give permission for my stories to be published, translated or reposted anywhere else. The only places I have published my stories is here on Tumblr and on my AO3 account (LadyAuthor711) 

This story is for 18+ ONLY. It contains sexual themes that are not suited for younger audiences so if you’re under 18 my blog and this story is not for you. Please make sure to read at your own discretion and remember that you are solely responsible for your content intake.

A shadow seems to follow you wherever you go now. Like an ever-looming presence, that you feel like you can catch if you just turn your head at the right moment; but nothing is ever there. Sabrina says it’s all in your imagination.

“Or maybe there’s dark forces at play for your immortal soul.” She says in a silly ghoulish voice.

You laugh and lightly punch her arm. “I’m serious I feel like something or someone is watching me. Like constantly.”

Sabrina’s face went serious for a moment, seeing how tense you were. “Well auntie Hilda can make you something maybe to ease you. Or even find out if something is watching you.”

“But why would something be watching me?” 

Sabrina laughed to herself. “Y/N. Despite what you may think, you’re a young, beautiful witch. Whose power if flourishing well beyond my own and even that of an experienced witch. And you haven’t even signed your name in the book of the beast. It’s like you are your own source of magic. You should be careful; a lot of people would do anything for power like that.”

You felt a chill going up your back. “I haven’t thought of it like that. Maybe Hilda should do a spell or even make a charm.”

“I think a charm would be perfect. A charm to ease your thoughts and to keep away whatever darkness seems to be sticking to you.”

“Thank you, Sabrina.” You smiled, linking your arm with hers.

“Of course, Y/N.” She said as you both starting walking towards Sabrina’s house. Unbeknownst to either of you, that that shadow you were talking about is in fact very real.

He watches as you both walk away from the shadows of the forest, irritated with himself at how close you are but he can’t just reach out and grab you; taking you into the darkness. He knows though you’d never go with him like that; no. He’d have to wait and win you, until you desired him as much as he did you.

He felt a clench in his chest as you walked further away from his vantage point and he hated how weak he felt and how much he desired you, wanted you; how much he craved you with the very fiber of his being. But for you, he’d wait. He’d wait in the shadows for as long as it takes.

****

You were immediately greeted by Hilda as you and Sabrina walked into the house. Zelda sat at the table smoking a cigarette and reading the paper about some gruesome murder that made the headlines that day.

“Hello my darlings.” Hilda said cheerfully as she pounded some dough for whatever culinary confection, she was making that day.

“Hi, Hilda, Zelda.” You said greeting both of them, despite Zelda only grunting as acknowledgement.  

“Auntie Hilda. Do you think you could make a charm for Y/N?” Sabrina said immediately cutting to the case as she leaned on her elbows on the counter next to Hilda.

“What for my lovely? Stress? I doubt you need a love charm. You’re much too beautiful to need that.” Hilda said booping your nose.

You couldn’t help the blush that crept up your face as you slightly shook your head at her comment about you being beautiful.

“No. Auntie.” Sabrina said smiling, but her smile soon fell from her face. “Y/N, thinks someone is following her.”

“I was hoping you could find out if someone actually is stalking me or if it’s just all in my head.” You said gaining Hilda’s attention.

“A protection charm? Of course, my lovely, I’ll whip that up as soon as I throw these apple crumbles in the oven and we’ll get straight to work.”

****

An hour later you had a protection charm that was laced with eucalyptus leaves to ease your paranoia and stress. However, when Hilda tried to scry to see if someone was following you, the crystal would just keep spinning never landing on anything. Which indicated to Hilda that everything was hunky dory and that it was just probably stress from school that was making you so paranoid.

When you left Sabrina’s, you felt a sense of ease radiate over you as Hilda’s charm in your pocket worked its magic. However, as soon as you stepped outside of Sabrina’s house after saying goodbye to everyone you felt it again. That feeling that there was a pair of eyes that were constantly glued to you, watching your every move. You clutched the charm in your pocket tighter and began to walk home.

****

The following was Friday night and Sabrina, you and the rest of the gang were headed to a house party. It wasn’t your usual method of spending a Friday night but Sabrina assured you that is was exactly what you needed to help you unwind a bit. So, you took her at her word and you even let her dress you up for the occasion.

And throughout the night you actually thought Sabrina’s plan was working you hadn’t felt the intensity of someone’s gaze on you all night as you danced with your friends, letting yourself get lost and all your worries sliding from your shoulders.

After a while of dancing though the need for water was staggering so you told Sabrina you’d be right back and walked away from the group in search of water. You walked towards the back of the house where the beer and sodas were and tried searching for water.

“Need some help there?” A husky voice asked from the dark corner.

You gave a little jump and clutched your chest. “Oh my God you scared me!” You said smiling a bit at how much of a scaredy cat you were.

“I’m sorry.” He said as he stepped out of the shadows. “The last thing I intended to do was scare you.”

He was beautiful. Staggeringly beautiful, with dark brown locks and piercing green eyes that seemed to glow even from the darkness of the shadows. You felt the air leave your lungs, as you gaped at him before you quickly turned back to your earlier task of looking for water; your cheeks burning.

He looked at you curiously, this would be his one chance with you. To have you alone and completely his for the time being. And as he took you in, this stunning woman who he’s been on the edge of obsession over for months. He can already feel how inside yourself you are, so much so that he can practically reach out and feel the wall that you’ve built to contain back the powerful witch and woman that you are. And God how he wanted to blow that wall to pieces.

“What’s your name?” He asked, trying to get you to look at him again.

“Y/N.” You said to him but still not turning back towards him.

“I’m Luce.” He said holding out his hand for you to shake. Which you thought was a bit odd, but you reached your hand out taking his large one. When your skin touched his you felt a spark between you two, you tried to pull away from sheer instinct but he kept your hand firmly in his, letting the warmth of his hand radiate into your whole body making you feel warm to the touch.

You pulled your hand away and he let you this time. You saw how intense his gaze was and ducked from it, pushing your hair behind your ears. “Luce?” you said smiling shyly. 

“God given I’m afraid.” He said with a knowing smirk on his face, that you couldn’t help but feel like there was more to that smirk. But before you could say more, he spoke up again. “Why do you do that?” 

“Do what?” You asked, turning back towards him, but avoided looking into his intense green eyes.

“You have no reason to cower from me Y/N. Nor do you have any reason to be bashful. I find you most intriguing.” 

You furrowed your eyebrows in confusion. “I don’t know what you mean.” 

“I can see it plain as day, the way you hold yourself, speak, avoid eye contact and even how you suppress your magic.” He said and you immediately snapped your head towards him. “Yes, Y/N. I can feel your magic just radiating off of you, but you keep it contained; I can feel that too. You have no reason to be so inside of yourself.” He said taking another step closer to you. “You’re a highly intelligent and stunning young woman. That anyone would grovel on their knees to have you.” He said in a low whisper as he leaned towards you and surprisingly you found yourself leaning slightly towards him as well. 

His soft lips brushed against yours sending that same electric shock throughout your body; but only this time it was a thousand times more intense. 

You let out a gasp and quickly pulled away from him, even though it killed him inside to let you pull away from him; he did it none the less. He knew he had his hooks into you now, he just had to wait for you to realize it. Which wouldn’t take long. 

Suddenly you found yourself drawn to him again, and you took a step towards his large, tall frame and reached up for him. You kissed him gently, reciprocating his kiss in kind; then deepening it. You tangled your fingers in his dark curls feeling how soft they were and his large hands gently wrapped themselves around your waist pulling you closer into his hot body; being careful not to scare you off like a frightened animal. His tongue pressed against your lips, seeking entrance and you parted for him, letting him invade your senses; needing him to tear down every wall you’ve ever built and giving you that freedom from yourself. His grip on your waist grew tighter, as he crushed you against him, feeling that his body was hard as a rock against yours. 

When you finally broke away from him to catch your breath. He looked down at you longingly and brushed a piece of hair from your face. 

“There she is.” He smirked. 

Before you could ask what, he meant though suddenly you heard someone calling your name. 

“Y/N?” It was Sabrina. “There you are? Where have you been? You’ve been gone for like the whole party.” She said coming into the room, you felt heat bloom across your cheeks as you were about ready to explain the situation of you being alone with some stranger making out by the soft drinks; but when you turned around Luce was gone. 

“Y/N?” Sabrina asked, concern lacing her voice. 

“Yeah- I” You said stuttering. “I’m sorry I guess I just lost track of time. The party is over?” You asked, feeling like the floor was about to fall out from underneath you.

“Yeah it’s been over for a bit now. I’ve just come to find you-” She quickly cut herself off. “Are you okay Y/N?” She said walking over to you, and placing her hand on your shoulder. 

“Yeah I’m fine. I just- let’s just go home.” You said shaking your head, trying to clear the fog from your mind and trying to decide whether what just happened was actually real or not. 

As you walked with Sabrina out of the little back room where you just shared a kiss with a complete you looked back to see if he would magically reappear as fast as he disappeared but he wasn’t there. 

******

As you laid there in bed, you thought about the events of the night about Luce and his mysterious disappearance. Was he even real? Or have you finally lost your mind completely. You tossed and turned for what felt like eternity on your bed as your thoughts kept drifting to Luce. Thoughts about how soft his lips were, his large hands and how they felt against your hips; desperately needing them to go lower, and how his body felt against yours like it was meant to be there. 

You sat up in bed, it’s obvious that you’re never going to be able to sleep; when your thoughts keep drifting in dangerous directions. You got up from your bed and looked out the window into the night that was brightly lit by the full moon hanging in the sky. 

Maybe it was the full moon that was driving you crazy? But as you looked down to the forest edge that surrounded your house, you knew exactly what it was. Luce was standing there, staring up at you, even from here you could feel his eyes begging you to join him in the shadows. 

You didn’t know what compelled you but you darted from your bedroom and did just that. You raced down the stairs taking them two at a time before you got to the back door and flung it open. But, stopped in the doorframe, making sure that he was still standing there in the shadows of the forest; he was. You walked towards him, slower than you did coming down the stairs but with the same sure-footedness and determination. You were determined to find some answer from this mysterious character for all you knew he was the reason you felt like you were being stalked. 

When you approached him, he had a certain softness in his eyes as he looked down at you, taking you in again. You tried to shake off the warm feeling building inside of you, in order to get some answers. 

“Who are you?” 

He smiled but it held a hint of sadness and pain in it. He reached his hand up to your face and ran the back of his knuckles softly down your cheek; sending that bolt of electricity through you again, making you shiver. “You know who I am, Y/N. You’ve known from the first moment I spoke to you tonight. Didn’t you?” He said his smile broadening just a hair. 

His clever girl. So clever, so beautiful. 

You take a step back from his touches and he feels an ache deep in his chest. 

Luce. Lucifer. It made sense, your paranoia, that sense of foreboding and that someone was watching you. It was him. But why?

“Why? Why me?” you asked, feeling a sliver of fear creep under your skin, at the idea of what he was capable and if he truly desired you why didn’t he just take you? The devil is not really known for being hesitant when it comes to taking what he wants. 

He didn’t miss a beat in answering your question. “Because you’re beautiful. And powerful and the only woman in the universe who has bewitched me so; to the point where I can scarcely breathe without you being near me. Because just your presence alone coaxes the roiling place where my soul should be.” He advanced a step towards you, closing that small space between you once again. “Be with me Y/N. Be mine eternally and the universe shall be yours.” He said before pausing a beat and looking at you with such desperation and longing. “Please.” He whispered as he reached out to take a piece of your loose hair and twirl it softly around his finger. 

Seeing that look on his face, you’d never seen that before; let alone ever had somebody feel that way about you. You felt that familiar pain in your chest, and knew what he felt; that loneliness that seems bottomless, but he could be your anchor and you could be his.

You reached out your hands to his chest, your touch surprising him. Your hands ventured up his chest and wrapped around his neck, pulling his lips down to crash onto yours. Your kisses gentle at first then turning needy as you deepened the kiss and tangled your fingers in those dark locks of his; wanting more of him.

He didn’t hesitate, to bend down and wrap his hands around your ass and hoist you up and wrap your legs around his waist. He finally had you and he’ll be damned if he ever lets you go. He would give you everything you desire, whether it be jewels, power, or the universe in the palm of your hand. He would do anything for you, because you bewitched him; he is withthin your thrall as much as you are withthin his.

You clutched tightly to his neck as he carried you towards the house, no worries that you’d be interrupted since no one was home. You placed sweet kisses on his neck and sucked under his jaw earning a growl of pleasure from him.

“Are you sure about this Y/N? Once your mine, I’ll never let you go.”

You placed your finger on his lips shushing him. “Be with me. Tonight, and all the nights to come. I’m tired of being withthin myself so much that I don’t allow love withthin my heart.”

He kissed you again, all of his longing and desire was pressed into that kiss as he kneeled down on the soft carpeted floor of the living room in front of the fireplace, which now had a fire roaring in its hearth. You sat on his knees as he knelt on the ground, cradling you to his chest; before laying you down softly on the carpet.

The fire played with the features of his face, making him look even more breathtaking than he did in the moonlight. You reached up and cupped his face, pulling him back down to you as you kissed you reached up to his chest and started unbuttoning his shirt, removing it swiftly and exposing his hard chest. He did the same to you, tracing his hands down your abdomen and finding the band of your sweat pants and dipping his hand inside, cupping your sex.

You let out a low groan, arching your hips into his touches, needing so much more from him. When suddenly, his finger dipped inside of you, making you gasp.

“So sweet for me Y/N.” He purred in your ear, and watched as you were coming undone under his touches. He took his thumb and rubbed soft circles on your clit making you moan louder. He watched you intently as you threw your head back, relishing his touches reaching for your release and when it came it was like a wave crashing over you.

He ate your moans as your walls clenched around his finger, before pulling out of you and reaching for the band of your sweats again and pulling down, exposing you to him. He drank you in and looked like he was going to eat you alive; which was definitely something he was going to do later, but not now. Now he’d take it slow with you, unless you said otherwise.

“Are you ready for me sweetness?” He asked his intense green eyes, blown wide. You nodded and reached for his pants but he stood up and you watched as he undid his pants and pulled them done his legs and discarded them easily, and kneeling back before you. He kissed up your body, and sucked on your neck lightly before he kissed your lips again. You could feel him line up with your entrance and only a moment passed before he pushed inside of you.

You both let out a low groan that seemed to mix together. He let you get used to him for only a moment before he started to move, his thrusts were slow and sensual as he rolled his hips into you. You gripped onto his back, sinking your nails into his back, and earning a low moan as your reward. He reached between your bodies and found your clit again. He rubbed it in faster circles, making you whimper from the pleasure.

“Luce.” You moaned, “I’m so close.”

“Let go sweetness. I’m here now.” He mumbled into your neck, placing sloppy kisses just under your ear making you shiver and adding to the increasing tsunami that was about to crash over you. He held your gaze as your orgasm ripped through you and he was soon to follow you into that sweet bliss. 

[seesgood]

*TAPS MIC* hello guys, gals & nonbinary pals! so i was looking at my permanent starter call and was kinda just scrolling through the list of names wondering ( as i often do ) what tf i’m supposed to do when someone likes a permanent starter call. do i write you starters? do i message you to plot? do i continue loving on you from afar? --- and most of the time i ended up doing the last option. so i’m kinda revamping my whole idea of a permanent starter call into this: THE PERMANENT PARTNERSHIP CALL. ( i couldn’t think of a catchier name. ) so you know those people you’re mutuals with that you’re like ‘okay we’re mutuals but are we mutuals’ this is my way of seeing who would be interested in being  m u t u a l s. so what on earth does that entail? behold! the bullet pointed list! ----

--- you would be totally chill with me sending you memes and maybe even continuing them into threads once i get your undoubtedly awesome response to said meme --- we can have like 800 threads and i won’t have to be anxious about you getting sick of them --- we can scream at one another via ims about your character or my character or ships or shows and stuff --- means that you’re here because you’re interested in at least trying to develop a lasting writing partnership by developing verses, establishing muse chemistry, etc. --- you would be okay with me tagging you in things that might pertain to our muse, making your character / our character’s relationship a specific fun tag on my blog, and you wouldn’t get freaked out if i wanted to come at you screaming in all caps about something pertaining to your / our character(s) 

i’m literally made of like 98% anxiety, 1% parmesan cheese and 1% other things --- so if you’d be interested in any of the above, please like ( or reblog, if you’re a sideblog ) this post. i’ll probably use this list as like a first-hand resource if i want to contact someone for a plot idea as well so if you wanna be on that list, go ahead and boop that little heart down there. --- and if not, then no worries, this link will be on my blog for later access and i’m not gonna think any less of you if you don’t want to like this post.

[thecoliverlibrary]

The Best Laid Plans

Gift Type: Fan Fiction Title: The Best Laid Plans Author: @coliverscribbles​ (sideblog) Recipient: @broodybluebird Rating: General Word Count: 2,134 Summary: Valentine’s Day is fast approaching and the Hampton-Walsh household is all abuzz. Author’s Note: Inspired by an episode of Boy Meets World, called Risky Business. I hope my giftee enjoys reading it! :)

“Well, what do we have here? Is that a valentine I see in your hands, little brother?”

Jamie looked up from the red heart-shaped card he was holding, and immediately flung it to the side at the sound of his older brother’s teasing voice.

“It’s not mine! I think it’s for papa from dad… See, it says: ‘Dear Hacker Boy - Roses are red, violets are blue. Valentine’s on Monday, let’s rendezvous.’ I found it standing on the cutting board.”

“Ah, the fathers are leaving goofy notes for each other again, Jamie. Allow me to bestow some wisdom upon you,” he continued loudly, rolling his eyes at the slashing motions Jamie had started making with his hands, “Dad and pops do these cheesy gimmicks to keep the spice in their relationship alive. When you’re a parent, it’s all you really have left,” he tapered off with a wistful sigh.

“What, cheese?”

“No, doofus, lame goofy attempts at romance-!”

“Evan, don’t call your brother a doofus, and please don’t try to bestow any more romantic wisdom upon him.”

“How long have you been standing there?” Evan asked turning around to face his father.

“Long enough, what’s this?” Oliver answered, sauntering into the kitchen and picking up the card.

“I tried to warn you, bro,” Jamie said, then turned quizzically upon hearing the strangled snort his father had just let out, “Are you okay papa?”

“It’s the cheese, he choked on it. You should get him some water,” Evan quipped.

“What? Oh no, I’m fine,” Oliver replied, fixing his older son with a calculating look. “I was just thinking that I need to get a sitter for Monday… Say, Evan, since you’re so knowledgeable about cheeses and spices, what do you say to fixing some up while you babysit your little brother and sister on Monday evening?”

“Uh-uh. Sorry, pops. No can do. I have my own valentine to rendezvous with. Lisa and I made up,” Evan answered, quickly amending his statement at his father’s raised eyebrow. “Well… we’ll be making up when I tell her about the awesome Valentine’s dinner I’ve got planned for her at Bon Giourno. I made reservations and everything.”

“Oh alright, I suppose I could try to call Karen. But, she might have plans that night too… Hmm, you know, I was around 12 when I first started babysitting, and you’re nearly 12, Jamie. Maybe you could stay with Charlotte. The job pays $2.00 an hour, you up for it?”

“Keep the cash, papa. Buy yourself a new tie. Consider it a signing bonus for first time clients,” Jamie replied with a mischievous smile, much to his father’s amusement.

“Gee, thanks, buddy. That is mighty generous of you. Monday night then. I’ll take a chance on you.” Oliver ruffled his younger son’s hair, thinking not for the first time of his striking resemblance to Connor with his messy dark brown locks.

———-

“Whatcha got there, Charlotte?” Jamie asked, seeing his little sister fiddling with something that looked suspiciously like a heart-shaped card.

“Papa’s heart!” She squealed happily, holding it out proudly for him to see. “I’m a'pose to give it to Daddy!”

“'Dear Lawyer Boy - Blue is the violet. Red is the rose. Meet me at 8:00PM at the restaurant where you proposed.’” Jamie read aloud.

“Poetry is not papa’s strong suit,” came Evan’s loud guffaw, “You know, Jamie, girls love poetry. Throw a couple of fancy rhymes together with some flowers, and they’ll be putty in your hands.”

“Really?”

“Oh yeah! Here, listen to a master at work and soak up some brilliance,” he cleared his throat before continuing, “Uh… there once was a guy in a locker, who just got a date… What a shocker!-”

“Be still my heart, Jamie, I think we’ve got a Shakespeare in the family,” came Connor’s teasing voice as he walked into the living room and perched on a couch arm rest, “Evan, I say this with love, son, but please don’t try and compose poetry to win Lisa back.” he added with a smirk.

“Ha ha, very funny, dad,” Evan sulked, slumping down onto the couch.

“Aren’t I?” Connor replied with a wink, before turning to his youngest, who had begun clamoring for his attention.

“Daddy!”

“Princess Charlotte! Ooh, what’s that?”

“Papa’s heart,” she answered very seriously, “He said t'keep it safe until you came. Here!” She chirped, holding it out delicately with both hands to her father.

He took it from her with a kiss to her head and opened it up, his eyes widening with mirth as he read the contents, “Your papa rhymes about as smoothly as you, Evan,” he chuckles.

“Dad, how did Papa get you to fall in love with him if he can’t write good poetry?” Jamie mused, “Evan says the trick to getting someone to fall for you is through poetry and flowers.”

“First, do not take romance advice from your brother, Jamie. Your papa didn’t need to write me poetry or bring me flowers. He was perfect just the way he was, with his dorky coke-bottle glasses, shy gummy smile, and cute blush-”

“Don’t forget my beautiful mind.”

“Ollie! When did you get home from the store?”

“Early enough to hear the end of your gushing. I see you got my heart,” Oliver answered, bending down for a quick peck.

“I guarded it with my life, Papa!”

“Thank you my sweetness!” Oliver turned to his daughter, reveling in the peals of giggles he received in return as he squeezed her into a tight hug then booped her nose.

“Hey, where are you two sneaking off to?” Connor asked, noticing his two sons starting to slink up the stairs.

“I’ve got some homework-”

“I’m gonna call Lisa-”

“Dinner’s in an hour, boys, so I expect you to be down again by then.”

“Got it, papa.”

“Okay, pops.”

“So… is it a date?” Oliver asked, looking up at Connor from his position on the floor with Charlotte, who was now animatedly playing with his fingers.

“It’s a date.” Connor winked back, “I assume you got a sitter?”

“I thought we might give Jamie a chance. He’s nearly 12, he should be able to hold the fort down for a couple of hours. Oh, and get this - I offered to pay him, $2 an hour, and he waived it as a signing bonus! Told me to buy a nice tie with the extra cash!” Oliver replied with a chuckle, “I think he’s been hanging around one too many of your client calls.”

Connor, for his part, looked caught between sheepish amusement and pride, “That kid absorbs everything he’s exposed to! They’re all growing up so fast. Make them stop growing, Ollie.”

“Well, we’ve still got this little one.” Oliver responded giving Charlotte another tight squeeze.

“I’m a grown up too, daddy!”

“Oh no you’re not, Princess Charlotte! You’re going to be our baby girl forever.” Connor replied indignantly, moving to sit on the floor with the pair and start tickling his daughter, as Oliver gently extricated himself to attend to dinner.

———-

Jamie looked up from the puzzle he and Charlotte were working on at the ring of the telephone.

“Hello?” …

“Oh, hi papa! No, dad left 40 minutes ago.” …

“Yes, everything is fine. The house is still standing, and Charlotte is being entertained.” …

“Okay, bye! Have fun on your date!”

He made his way back to the couch, only to do an about-face when the phone rings again.

“Yello?” …

“Oh, hi dad!” …

“Everything’s fine. Papa just called to ask about you actually.” …

“No, dad. I’m telling you, he’s there.” …

“Okay, bye dad.”

Man, I can’t believe mom and dad can’t find each other. How big is this restaurant anyway? He wondered to himself, as he went back to Charlotte.

He was getting bored with the puzzle and the beginnings of a game of house tag starting to take shape in his head.

———-

“Connor, it was humiliating! How could you go to the wrong restaurant? Or was proposing to me that forgettable?”

“I can only say I’m sorry so many times, Ollie.” Connor replied desperately, watching his husband pace their backyard.

“How could you forget something so important?”

“You’re right. I am a crass, unfeeling dunderhead who forgot that I proposed to you at Trattoria.”

“Yes, you are. And, I may forgive you in time. What restaurant did you go to anyway?” Oliver asked curiously.

“Can’t we just forget about this, and just get on to the romantic part of the evening?” Connor replied with a suggestive wink.

“It’s cute that you think you’re still getting lucky tonight. Just tell me. Where did you go?”

“I went to La Lola.”

“La Lola? That’s- Oh.”

“What ’Oh’?”

“Nothing, come on. Let’s go inside.”

“No, wait a minute, wait a minute. That was a loaded, ’Oh’.”

“Can’t we just get on with the romantic part of the evening, Lawyer Boy?”

“It’s cute, how you think you can use my own words against me, but no, no, no. Don’t you Lawyer Boy me. I will not be distracted. I did propose to you at La Lola, didn’t l?”

“Yes, you did, Connor.”

“Ooh, I knew it! I knew it. What happened at Trattoria?”

“I was proposed to at Trattoria.”

“Not by me.”

“Are you hungry? I’m so hungry.”

“Now, wait just a hot minute, wait a minute. Who proposed to you at Trattoria?”

“Lucas Porter.”

“Lucas Porter? Lucas Porter proposed to you? Who the hell is Lucas Porter?”

“Some guy.”

“Some guy? Some random drive-by proposal? Somebody proposed to you, and you didn’t tell me about it?”

“No, Connor. No, I did not.”

“Well, why the hell not?”

“Oh, because silly me, I thought maybe you’d get angry!”

“Oh, well, fine. Obviously, you know me. I don’t know you.”

“Connor!”

“Did you accept the proposal? Do you have another set of children in Maysville, Kentucky? Are Beatrice, Christopher, and Jackson waiting for their father to come back after stepping out for gum eighteen years ago?”

“Okay, enough, Connor.” Oliver admonished, rolling his eyes. “You’re being ridiculous! Calm down. Let’s go inside and discuss this like mature adults. You’ll only aggravate your blood pressure!”

“Oliver, if that’s even you’re real name- What in the world happened here? JAMIE!” Connor broke off, his eyes widening at the state of disarray that the living room currently seemed to be in.

As his eyes swept the scene, he took stock of a broken lamp, some spaghetti strewn across the couch, and the rest of the furniture that didn’t seem to be in their right places. Charlotte was sleeping in what seemed to be a makeshift pillow fort on the floor.

“It’s all my fault. No one else is to blame except me. But don’t worry, dad. I’m going to pay for it out of my own money.” Jamie rushed into the living room frantically, holding a broom.

“Your own money? What ’own money’?” Oliver asked with an incredulous stare.

“Well, no charge for my subsequent babysitting services until this gets paid off?” Jamie asked with hopeful, but worried eyes.

“YOU THINK WE’RE GOING TO LET YOU BABYSIT AG-” came Connor’s disbelieving shriek.

“SHHHHH! You’ll wake up my dear little sister, who, thank God, is still alive.” Jamie interrupted quickly, trying to defuse his father’s anger.

“Oh! Well, thank God for that.” Oliver replied sardonically, placing a gentle hand on his husband’s shoulder and praying it wouldn’t be shoved off. They shared a look, and Oliver knew they wouldn’t be dropping their previous discussion anytime soon - just shelving it for now to deal with the mess at hand and get their kids to bed.

———-

“Here, papa.”

“What’s this?” Oliver asked, looking up from his laptop to see his youngest son holding out a small bunch of paper flowers.

“Art project for school.”

“And, you made this for me? Thanks buddy, that’s really sweet. But, it’s not getting you out of your grounding.” Oliver replied with a wink and a ruffle to his son’s hair.

“Eh, it was worth a shot.” Jamie replied, turning to walk back upstairs to his room.

“Are those from Lucas Porter?” Connor quipped, as he walked into the living room.

“No. It’s from Jamie Hampton-Walsh.”

“Well, in case they get lonely.” Connor replied, presenting his husband with his own bouquet of fresh flowers.

“Connor, they’re beautiful. What are they for?”

“Because,” Connor answered, looking down as he hugged a throw pillow to his chest, “Because, this was the worst Valentine’s Day of my life, and I don’t think yours was any better either. And, maybe I overreacted. A little bit.”

“Oh?”

"And, I was thinking that you may have been proposed to twice, but you only said yes once, and I’m glad it was to me. Happy Valentine’s Day, Ollie.”

“Thanks, Con.” Oliver replied, accepting the flowers with a relieved smile.

They sat for a while in comfortable silence - Connor had traded the throw pillow in favor playing with Oliver’s fingers - until Oliver spoke up again.

“So,” he teased with a mischievous grin, “What makes you think I was only proposed to twice?”

-FIN-